What keeps sexual desire?

A study from Mark & Lasslo (2018) conducted a systematic review of the literature to answer this question what maintains sexual desire in long-term relationships

It concluded that sexual desire does not always have to be high to be maintained or good. In fact, if people expect sexual desire to fluctuate, they may be better off in their relationship.

Sexual desire should be considered in the context within which it exists: the individual, interpersonal, and societal.

Overall, this review suggests there are several risk and protective factors in maintaining sexual desire in long-term relationships, and although the decline of sexual desire over the course of long-term relationships is a common, but not necessary, part of long-term relationships.

See below the factors impacting sexual desire in long-term relationships found in this review to see if they resonate with you.

Individual factors:

• Realistic expectations about desire’s ebbs and flows

• Attraction for one’s partner

• Prioritizing the relationship

• Autonomy and sense of self-identity

• Attachment style…

• Higher self-esteem and confidence

• Lower stress and fatigue

Interpersonal factors:

• Responsiveness to partner initiation

• Emotional intimacy

• Communication

• Self-expansion…

• Novelty

• Perceived sexual compatibility

• Sexual and relationship satisfaction

• Relationship length?

Societal factors

• Gendered expectations…

• Egalitarianism

• Sexual power struggle

• Restrictive sexual attitudes

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Mark, K. P., & Lasslo, J. A. (2018). Maintaining sexual desire in long-term relationships: A systematic review and conceptual model. The Journal of Sex Research, 55(4-5), 563-581.