Defining sexual pleasure

Due to studying sexual pleasure, I struggle to define it with my own words. The technical definitions are so ingrained in me that I no longer know how to discuss it without sounding like a teacher. If you were a student I would tell you that “sexual pleasure is a transient experience with physical, cognitive, emotional and social components”.

I would also tell you it is an essential aspect of sexual health (and health in general) and that it can be experienced in a “solitary” way, as in masturbation or through our thoughts, fantasies and dreams, as well as in a shared way, that is, when we have sexual experiences with other people, even when they are not close by.

I’d also tell you that the diversity of what gives us pleasure is enormous and sexual pleasure is a right, as long as it occurs in a context in which the self-determination, consent, safety and privacy of the people involved are respected.

I would probably also emphasize that pleasure does not equal orgasm - although orgasms are pretty great – and that many people have pleasure without experiencing orgasm. “Fun” fact, though, there are people who have orgasms and who say that they did not feel pleasure, but the opposite, that it was a bad experience.

For me, pleasure tends to be paired with high desire and arousal, with a feeling of wanting and an attitude of seeking. Novelty and adventure seem to contribute a great deal, but so does intimacy and vulnerability.

I wonder what does it for you? What gives you pleasure?

~

References

Boul, L., R. Hallam-Jones, and K.R. Wylie, Sexual pleasure and motivation. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 2008. 35(1): p. 25-39.

Chadwick, S.B., M. Francisco, and S.M. van Anders, When Orgasms Do Not Equal Pleasure: Accounts of “Bad” Orgasm Experiences During Consensual Sexual Encounters. Archives of sexual behavior, 2019. 48(8): p. 2435-2459.

Foldés, P. and C.J.G. Louis-Sylvestre, obstetrique, Results of surgical clitoral repair after ritual excision: 453 cases. Gynecologie, Obstetrique & Fertilite, 2006. 34(12): p. 1137-1141.

GAB. Working definition of sexual pleasure. 2016  [cited 2021 January 25]; Available from: http://www.gab-shw.org/our-work/working-definition-of-sexual-pleasure/.

Parish, W.L., et al., Sexual practices and sexual satisfaction: A population based study of Chinese urban adults. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 2007. 36(1): p. 5-20.

Rye, B. and G.J. Meaney, The pursuit of sexual pleasure. Sexuality & Culture, 2007. 11(1): p. 28-51.

Reis, J., de Oliveira, L., Oliveira, C., & Nobre, P. (2021b). Psychosocial and Behavioral Aspects of Women’s Sexual Pleasure: A Scoping Review. International Journal of Sexual Health, 33(4): p. 494-515.

Richters, J., Bodies, pleasure and displeasure. Culture, health & sexuality, 2009. 11(3): p. 225-236.